The Voices' Inuyasha Fanfiction
by NiteFyre Huntress
Summary: The voices rampant inside my head decided to inspire me at an ungodly hour. The cast of Inuyasha suffered, and Inuyasha really came to hate fudge...
1. Prologue

Ok, for those who don't know the Shadowweaver Sisters very well, we don't have muses that inspire our work. We have voices. Voices are very different, you see, because they never, ever,never EVER leave you alone. Here are the voices that live inside our heads!  
  
Morbidity:female Insanity:male Morality:male Impishness: it's an it. Sexless demon.  
  
Those are the main ones, but there are voices that play minor roles, and here they are!  
  
Evil: female Aristocrat: female Hyperactivity: Another It Anarchy: Male Despair: female  
  
And on with the show!  
  
  
  
Insanity: *walks over to Brahma and pokes her on the head* Time to type! Brahma: What do you mean time to type? It's 3 fucking o'clock in the morning! I have midterms this week! I need rest! Imp: *jumps on Brahma* Nooooo silly! You must write! We are telling you to! Brahma: Fine! Dammit, where is Nuriko? Evil: *walks over with key board in hand and sits down.* Inuyasha cast, and what shall we do? Ahh, how about an insane quest- Insanity: What about me? Morality: We are taking turns, are we not? *crosses his arms.* Evil: Feh. Suddenly, the Inuyasha cast appears, along with Nuriko and her faithful hand maiden Sukura. Inuyasha spots Nuri and screams. "AAAH! I thought she was in dreamless state! She's not supposed to be here!" Nuriko looks at him puzzled, then blushes. "Lookin' good, Inuyasha." Brahma: moron, I haven't finished writing the fan fic. You'll see what happens. Miroku steps over to Brahma and lowers his eyelids down at the gorgeous goth. Brahma:oooh, I am likin this! "By any chance, would Nuriko agree to-" "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" It was a scream. "Who the hell is narrating this?" Inuyasha snapped.  
  
Evil: Do you have a problem? Inuyasha looks away from her eyes. "Ahhhh.." Brahma: Ok, my turn. Give me the key board. Evil: *Hugs it to her chest and tries to run. Brahma unfold her wings, takes to the sky and dives down on Evil* You're a minor voice. Why the hell are you here? *Recovers the keyboard* Insanity: I feel outnumbered, and she is the best. Now just keep it away from Imp. Morality? Moratlity: Eh? Insanity: Watch Imp. Morality: *sits on Imp* Ok. Imp: *voice muffled* Hey! I was behaving. Brahma: *rubs her temples.* ooh, goddess. Ok, this is going to be really bad. Here is the setting! *Fingers fly over key and the Inuyasha cast is put in their places outside the Bone Eaters well. 


	2. How it All Began And How Inuyasha Came t...

Chapter 1: How it all began.and How Inuyasha came to hate Fudge..  
  
Inuyasha is sitting in a tree, oh how peaceful, just relaxing with nothing to do and no shards to go after at the present moment because Kogome was still in her other time.. Inuyasha sighed.  
  
"I'm bored."  
  
He was bored.  
  
"Didn't I just say that?" Why yes dear, but I was emphasizing the fact. "Well..don't," Inuyasha snapped. Ok fine. Touchy touchy!  
  
Suddenly, something happened!  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!"  
  
It was a scream,  
  
"You did it again," Inuyasha grumbled. Yeah, and so what? I am the one writing after all. "Don't fucking do that!" Who's gonna stop me? You? "I just might.."  
  
Dumbass, I am the narrator here, so I can do whatever the hell I want! Whahahaha! "Bitch, I don't fucking care!" Inuyasha screams.  
  
Suddenly, a rabid pink bunny rabbit jumps out of the bushes and starts mauling Inuyasha! "Aaaah! What the fuck is that?! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!!  
  
A bolt of lightning zings down from the sky, hitting the bunny and also zapping Inuyasha, knocking him 25 feet and 3 inches into a tree.  
  
"W-what the heeellllll..." You see, Inuyasha, I am Goddess here. Whatever I say goes, ya hear? "Uh-hu." Good, now go see what the scream was before I get really mean!  
  
Inuyasha runs to the well where there stands Kagome, trembling with fear. Inuyasha immediately runs to her side.  
  
"What's wrong Kagome?" He asked her. "A demon attacked me when I came out of the well! It just jumped at me and- and that little fuck grabbed my ass! That hentai-" Kagome no longer seems frightened, but very very mad. "Oh c'mon Kagome, is that all that really happened?" Inuyasha says on the verge of laughter.  
  
Humph, jackass. Glad he thinks it's funny.  
  
"Hey! What? It's not my fault! She's the one getting all scared over a little demon that just wanted a cheap feel."  
  
"Actually Inuyasha, it wanted more than that." Kagome fidgets. "Eh? What do you mean it wanted more?" As you can see, Inuyasha isn't doing too well in the intelligence department. "Hey! Bitch." What? I'm being honest! Kagome, tell him what the demon took.  
  
Inuyasha turns to Kagome, blank look on his face. "What'd it take?" "Oh Gods!" Kagome screams. "The only thing of value I have to take!" Inuyasha stares blankly. "THE SHIKON NO TAMA!!!"  
  
"WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT!!!!???????" See? Very lacking. Even when it' spelled out, he doesn't catch on.  
  
"Gads damn you biiiiitch!" Inuyasha growles, forgetting for a second that I am the all powerful Brahmani, the creator. If I can create, I can dismantle, or dismember.  
  
"Ok, ok, no need for that^_^;;;," Inuyasha cries, a cheerful smile on his face. "I'll be good and we'll take care of this."  
  
"We?" Kagome demands. "I'm not going to do anything-" "Like hell you're not, wench! It's your fault that the jewel got stolen!" Inuyasha fumed. "Well, if you had gotten here sooner you would have been able to catch him. But NNNNNNNNNNOOO! You had to piss off the narrator and get attacked by a rabid pink rabbit!"  
  
Inuyasha's mouth drops open. "H-how did you know.?" "She told me." Kagome points at the Brahmani. "Damn you." Inuyasha mumbles.  
  
Excuse me? "Uh, nothing ^_^'!" That's what I thought. Now.. Suddenly, something else happened.  
  
"Aaaaaahhhhhhiiiiiiii!"  
  
It was another scream.  
  
"Will you please fucking stop it!?"  
  
No, now go see what it is or I'll have to hurt you.  
  
Inuyasha and Kagome run in the direction the scream came from only to find a buried and unconscious Kaede and Shippo.  
  
"Oh, gods, Keade-baba! Shippo!" Kagome falls to her knees and picks the little kitsune up.  
  
"What do think happened to the hag and the brat?" Inuyasha asked, glaring down the old woman.  
  
"I don't know but.oh Kamisama! Inuyasha look! It's.it's so cruel. Who could have..?"  
  
"Could have what?" Inuyasha demands crossly. "Shippo looks..WHAT IN THE SEVEN HELLS?!?!?! It took his 'u'! The demon stole his 'u'!"  
  
Uh, for those of you slow on the uptake, the 'u' is the ending to Shippo's name, thus he is supposed to be 'Shippou', but the demon took his 'u' and made him 'Shippo'.  
  
"Oh, the poor little baby." Kagome sobs.  
  
"Feh, let's go, Kagome," Inuyasha begins to walk away when he realizes something.  
  
"Kagome, why are you still sitting down?"  
  
Kagome was still sitting next to Shippo and Keade.  
  
"Daaaaammmn yooooou," he mumbles, again showing his poor inelegance and memory. Inuyasha, do I need to have a pack of rabid fan girls attack you?  
  
"AAAHH! Gods no!" Inuyasha screamed, looking properly horrified as he should be. Good-puppy.  
  
So, Kagome decided to stay behind and Inuyasha walked off on his merry way to track down the 'u' and jewel thief. But, unfortunately for poor little dog-boy, he had allergies inherited from his mother, and they were working at full force right now and Inu-chan couldn't smell a thing.  
  
"Don't blame me," Inuyasha grumbled. "I get it from my human side. No demon has allergies." Is that why you want to become a full fledged demon? "Yes-no! Of course not! Ahh, leave me alone."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIEEE!"  
  
And there was another scream.  
  
"Gods damn you bitch!" muttered the aimless puppy dog. Just go towards the scream, ok? Do I need to remind you of the powers I possess? 'Feh," he sighed, running towards the scream. Her crashed out of the forest and almost trampled on a passed out Kikyo.  
  
"Eh, Kikyo? Nani? What's wrong?" He asks, bending down and picking up the undead Miko. Slowly she came around and blinked up at Inuyasha.  
  
"Oh, Inuyasha! I was just having the best fantasy about you!" "Uuhh." "Oh, you were so gentle and you brought a fire to my flesh of bones and grave yard soil!" "T-that's nice.I guess." Inuyasha said, moving away slowly. "Uum, Kikyo, your name." "What about my name? It's Kikyo the same..Holy shit, my name? What happened to my name?" The undead Miko's eyes widen. "It was that thing! It stole my 'u'! THE FUCKING DEMON STOLE MY 'U'! THAT'S UNHEARD OF!!!!!"  
  
Inuyasha is continuing to slowly move away from Kikyo, who was starting to scare him. Suddenly, she turns to him and smiles.  
  
"Well, we can worry about that later. Do you want to make those fantasies become a reality?"  
  
Inuyasha screams and runs away while Kikyo shouts out after him, "Gods Inuyasha! You know it's meant to be! You can't run from me, remember? I'm dead! I'll live forever and always come after you!"  
  
Luckily, Inuyasha had run well away and was panting slightly through his stuffed up nose.  
  
"Damn you" he wheezes. Hey now, I'm being creative. The best authors are always creative.  
  
Suddenly, Evil pushes Brahmani aside and snatches they key board. Evil: *evil cackle* My turn dammit, MY TURN!  
  
Ok, since doggie boy here can't smell a pile of shit, let alone a demon on the run, even if it smelled like Kagome, Shippo, Kaede and Kikyo. So in saunters the half demon's older brother, Shesshoumaru!  
  
"Oh, no!" Inuyasha screams. Oh, yes!  
  
Shesshoumaru looks around confused. "What's going on?" He asked. Well, Shesshie-chan, darling dearest, Inuyasha needs your help in tracking down a treacherous demon that stole the Shikon Jewel and the 'u's of some of the other cast!  
  
"It stole their 'u's?" Shesshoumaru asked dumbfounded. I guess that the slowness is hereditary. "Hey, wench, I don't need to take that shit from you; I am the gre-" Inuyasha clamps a hand over Shesshoumaru's mouth, stopping his unwise words. Well, he learned from Brahmani, and even darling Shesshie isn't safe from the wrath of me!  
  
"Dude, the other was a fucking psycho, and this is Evil! She's gonna be 20 times worse, so shut up!" Hissed Inuyasha. I'll ignore that remark. So, on with the show! You two get to work together!  
  
"What?!" "I am not working with him!" "Are you out of your mind?"  
  
Ok, listen you two I'm going to say this one time and one time only: do as I say or I'll turn this into a yaoi lemon from hell.  
  
"....." They both just stare, eyes wide. "W-what d-do you m-m-mean?" Inuyasha stammers. I mean doing the horizontal mambo with your brother. Assramming. Packing the fudge, incest is the best and all that happy crap.  
  
"You wouldn't dare." Shesshoumaru tries to stare Evil down.  
  
Suddenly the brothers look at each other, eyes misting over, and then they reach out, wrap their arms around each other, and share a long, passionate kiss. The next instant they break apart and look at each other in disgust, Inuyasha turning green and promptly bending over to blow chunks, while Shesshoumaru stands there looking dazed and confused. "What THE FUCK!!!!" He screamed. "Are you INSANE ?!?!?!?!?!?!" Evil decides to ignore that comment. Now will you two behave?  
  
"Yes!" Inuyasha gasps. Shesshoumaru only nods, still looking dazed and confused. Good doggies ^_^  
  
Now we'll just have to wait to see what happens to them in chapter two!! Bwahahahaha!!!!! "Oh gods help us all, what the bloody fuck is she going to do now?" 


	3. How Sango Came to Hate Beef

Chapter two: How Sango came to hate Beef  
  
"When are you going to start sniffing and find that damn demon?" Inuyasha snapped at his brother.  
  
"Allergies again, brother?" Shesshoumaru asked smugly. "And for your information, I have been sniffing. We are not aimlessly wandering, for I picked up the beasts scent a while ago."  
  
"Feh."  
  
And so those two continued on their journey after the abomination. So go Shesshie, go Shesshie!  
  
"You know, I would be doing all this if it weren't for damn allergies, " Inuyasha snaps at Evil. True dog boy, but you see you are suffering from allergies and can't smell a thing, so now it's Shesshoumaru's time to out shine you!  
  
Shesshoumaru smirks, sensing favoritism here. Damn straight-I mean, uuuhhh..  
  
And again, something happens.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHIIIIEEEE!"  
  
It's another scream!  
  
"Thank you for stating the obvious," Shesshoumaru grumbles. Hhhhmmmmm... Oh, screw it. Go see what the scream was. FAST!  
  
At the possibility of Evil's wrath, the half brothers race in the direction the sound came from and find and unconscious Sango and a little Kilala  
  
Kilala jumps into Inuyasha's arms. "Mew!"  
  
"Kilala." Inuyasha looks horrified. "What the hell happened to your name!?"  
  
"It's a cat demon." Shesshoumaru says in a dazed way.  
  
"Mew." Poor little Kilala, once Kirara, says.  
  
"What? the evil demon that stole the jewel came here and attacked you and San-Go, then changed your names before running away again? How awful!"  
  
"..." Shesshoumaru stares blankly at his brother. "She said all that? In one little 'mew'?"  
  
Inuyasha looks at him. "Yeah..Hang on Kilala-" Inuyasha winces. "I have to check on San-Go."  
  
Inuyasha sets the cat demon down and kneels next to San-Go. Shesshoumaru looks from the cat to the girl and kicks San-Go in the side. "I don't think she's dead."  
  
"Don't do that!" Inuyasha snapped as he began to shake San-Go, not being much of a gentle man and having no experience handling women in a nice way.  
  
"Shut up," he growls as San-Go comes around  
  
"Ooh, Gods. What the." She looks around, blinking.  
  
"San-Go, are you ok?" Inuyasha asks before realizing the ghastly truth. "Oh, no.."  
  
San-Go sits up and shrieks. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY NAME????"  
  
"The demon..it put a dash in San-Go's name!" cried Inuyasha. And he says that Brahmani and I stated the obvious. Meanwhile Shesshoumaru's eyes had focused on Kilala. He was drooling, and beginning to change into his demon form.  
  
"Shesshoumaru." Inuyasha eyed his brother warily.  
  
"Mew?" Kilala said.  
  
"Kilala?" San-Go asked. "it got her too?"  
  
Shesshoumaru was in full from and began to bare down on Kilala.  
  
"Mew?!" cried the little cat as she began to run away, changing into her more powerful form. But Shesshoumaru caught the cat and began to eat her.  
  
"Eat her?" Inuyasha gasped as her ran up and jumped on Shesshoumaru. "I didn't want to have to do this, but-" Inuyasha pulled out a newpaper from his shirt and rolled it up and began hitting Shesshoumaru on the nose with it. "BAD DOG! BAD DOG! DROP IT NOW! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW! " Inuyasha beat Shesshoumaru mercilessly on the nose with the newspaper.  
  
Shesshoumaru yelped and dropped Kilala, who ran over to San-Go and hid behind the demon hunter's back.  
  
Now, we have spent enough time here, and we must go. But San-Go, I don't like you that much so you will be staying here. Bye Bye.  
  
"What?" San-Go asks as a huge shadow forms around her and a giant cow lands on top of her.  
  
"MMMMOOOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
"Mew?" Kilala says pitifully as Inuyasha drags Shesshoumaru away into the forest by his tail.  
  
"Oooowoowowwowo! That HURTS!" Shesshoumaru cried.  
  
"Stop it! Your embarrassing yourself." Inuyasha grumbled. "Who would think a demon would be such a baby about something like this." Inuyasha was conveniently forgetting that he bursts out into tears when someone mildly thwacks his ears.  
  
"Hahahahaahaha!" Shesshoumary]u laughed. "Your ears?"  
  
Inuyasha gave a furious yank on his brother tail and the dropped Shesshie.  
  
"Don't do that," whimpered the demon caressing the injured appendage with tears in his eyes.  
  
"Feh. You're such a pretty boy."  
  
"Better than a miserable half breed!"  
  
"Bastard!" Inuyasha jumped at Shesshoumaru and prepared to hit him. No hurt Shesshie!  
  
Suddenly a tree branch lands on Inuyasha.  
  
Shesshoumaru smirks as Inuyasha struggles to get out from under the branch. "Are you stuck, brother dear?"  
  
"Fuuuuuck you! When I get out from under this you are so dead." That's not very wise, now is it? "Oh, go the fuck away you psychopathic biiiiiiitccchh!"  
  
Inuyasha manages to get up, then once again lunges at Shesshoumaru. Not too bright, is he? No HURT Shesshoumaru!  
  
A bolt of lightening comes down from the sky and knocks Inuyasha away from Shesshoumaru, leaving the handsome youkai untouched.  
  
Morality: *Shakes his head* This isn't fair, Evil. You're playing favorites.  
  
Shesshoumaru looks nervous. Inuyasha raises his head and wheezes, "Thank you."  
  
Stay out of this Morality. You didn't invite me, Insanity did so fuck off. *Everyone shoots Insanity angry looks as he feigns wide eyed innocence.  
  
Ok! On with the story! Shesshoumaru leads Inuyasha towards the demon.  
  
"Feh, how does he know where it is?" Inuyasha demanded.  
  
"Uuh, she told me," Shesshoumaru muttered, turning bright red.  
  
"Nani? What did you do?" Inuyasha demanded as Shesshie-chan turns a brighter shade of red.  
  
"Uh, she had me do this favor for her.."  
  
Yep, and how about you and me hang out later hon and I'll return the favor *wink wink*. Shesshoumaru goes completely crimson while Inuyasha blanches. And so the two go walking off into the sunset after the beastie, the determined heroes! Wow, and I do like the view from behind. Seems like they both got that feature..Very nice, very NICE!  
  
"What?" The ask, spinning around. Oh, nothing. Just keep on walkin' babes. Onto chapter two!  
  
Brahmani:*Hits her forehead with her hand* What are you going to do to them now?  
  
Imp: *Jumps up and down on Morality's head.* My turn! My turn!  
  
Morbidity: *Had remained silent up until now, shoots a glare at Imp.* Moral, shut it up!!! 


	4. How Oracle Got Her Wish

Chapter three: How Oracle got Her Wish  
  
Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru were hiding behind the brush right out side the vile demon's cave. Now, they just had to decide what to do next.  
  
"Um, perhaps you should go in, brother. After all, you do have the sword fashioned out of our father's fang, the sword that can destroy 100 demons in one blow. This is better for you to do."  
  
"Nani?" Inuyasha blinked. Shesshoumaru was fidgeting very badly.  
  
"Well.it's just that I have more to risk here than you do, brother. You see, you could end up 'Inyasha', and that doesn't sound too terribly bad. But come one, 'Shesshomar'? That is horrendous!"  
  
Inuyasha snickered. "Oooh, I see. Little Shesshie-chan is afwaid of the big bad demon, isn't he??"  
  
"Oh stop it, you little half ling whelp!" Shesshoumaru snapped, vanity and ego severely injured. Aawww.  
  
"What? I'll give you half ling whelp!" Inuyasha landed a punch, and then another. But you'd think he would learn by now. No HURT SHESSHIE!!! Hiei- chan!!  
  
Suddenly the fierce little demon pops out of thin air, sending a dragon at Inuyasha. The dragon throws a fireball and char Inuyasha to a crisp.  
  
Hiei looks around confused. 'Where the bloody hell am I?" he asks a shaked Shesshoumaru.  
  
"I have no clue, but don't say ANYTHING to the narrator!" Shesshoumaru warned, stepping over to his brother. " I think he's dead."  
  
Suddenly, out of the bushes a girl dressed as Kagome appears. "Oh, Inuyasha! Nooooo!" She wails. Kikyo fallows her, both falling to their knees and sobbing.  
  
"Oh, no Inuyasha! Come back! It's Kagome, you know me! Please be alive." The imposter wailed.  
  
"You're not Kagome." Shesshoumaru said.  
  
"Yes I am!" The girl cried. Kagome's school uniform was way too small in the top and Shesshoumaru was taking full advantage of the view, but the undead miko's wails and the imitation Kagome's screaming was getting on his nerves.  
  
Ok girls, shut up already cause you're annoying the hell out of me too. So please shut up and stop crying. I'm sure Inuyasha will be alright tomorrow morning ^_^"!  
  
'Kagome' grabbed Inuyasha's hand and squealed when it crumbled into ash. Shesshoumaru poked Inuyasha's chest and the entire torso crumbled.  
  
"He'll be alright tomorrow, huh?" He asked snidely. Hey, behave now, alright? I didn't mean for that to happen.  
  
Hiei looks back and forth. "What the hell is going on here?" he asked. Oh, shut up!  
  
"Hey, control your temper evil dear!" Shesshoumaru quipped, if he was intelligent enough to understand what actual quipping involved. "hey bitch!" Ok, that's it!  
  
A huge tree branch falls down on top of Shesshoumaru. He struggles to get out of it, barley standing. Behave now, so that we can get on with it. After all, you get to be the main man! The hero!  
  
"Yeah," Shesshoumaru stood a little straighter. "What a leading man I'd make."  
  
Yes you would! A handsome leading man that would get all the ladies! Wouldn't that be something?  
  
"Yeah, it would be, huh? Hell, it's about time they noticed me for the greatness I truly am!"  
  
Uh-huh ^_^! Go boy!  
  
Nuriko walks onto the scene arms crossed. Eh, how did you get here?  
  
"I wandered in with the mad fan girl," she said dully looking at Inuyasha's charred body, then back to a nearly drooling Shesshoumaru. "And as to him being the leading man, fuuuuuuuuuuuck no!"  
  
Are you contesting my supreme will? "You could say that, dammit. And you've backed yourself into a corner Evil dear."  
  
Eh? Oooh,. Fuck..damn it all to the seven hells.Arrg, how am I going to get out of this?  
  
Nuriko shrugs. "I don't know. Hey, why is Hiei fromyu-Yu Hakusho here?"  
  
Hiei looks at the druid warrioress. "I have absolutely no fucking idea."  
  
Imp: *jumped up and snatched the key board from Evil and runs away.* My turn! My turn! Evil: *makes a move to take the key board back. But Morality stops her.* Morality: Now, let it have it's turn. There's a loud groan from everyone.  
  
Ok, all of a sudden a fairy appears in the air over Inuyasha and sprinkles dust all over his body, restoring him so that he's alive. Yay! The girls go nuts, pawing all over Inu-chan's body.  
  
"Oh Inuyasha!" the fake Kagome cries.  
  
"Ah! Who the fuck are you?" Inuyasha screamed as he tried to get away.  
  
"Don't you recognize your Kagome?" the girl asked, her eyes filling with tears.  
  
"You're not Kagome." Inuyasha said, only to be met with screams.  
  
"Hey, he's mine bitch!" Kikyo snarled. "Step off whore!"  
  
"Shesshoumaru, help me!" Inuyasha begged his brother, who was standing back laughing.  
  
"You want my help brother?" Shesshoumaru asked lazily.  
  
"Yes! Please Kamisama yes!" Inuyasha begged, struggling to get away from the mad girls.  
  
"We-ell.I don't know."  
  
"Oh, hell in a basket!" Nuriko snapped as she gathered her power and shot the two girls head on. "There!" Then Nuri tackled Inuyasha hugging him fiercely close. "Mine, dammit! Mine all fucking MINE!!!!"  
  
"Feh, gerroff Nuriko," Inuyasha whined.  
  
"Ok, ok," said the girl as she stood up. Then the druid walked over to Hiei. "hey, you know Oracle Shadowweaver, right?"  
  
"Yeah." Hiei said slowly  
  
"Ah, one of her sisters is co-narrator of this weird situation."  
  
"Interesting."  
  
OH, speaking of Oracle, and Kurama for that matter..  
  
"NO!" Nuriko screamed as out of the trees appear the red head Kurama and the blonde Oracle Shadowweaver, complete with her whit kitsune ears. The two looked around, eyes wide and confused.  
  
"Hiei, what's going on?" Kurama asked.  
  
"I have no fucking clue," the little demon said. "but I'm getting a little nervous."  
  
"That can't be good," oracle mutters with a wave to a flustered Nuriko.  
  
Ok, lets get going!  
  
"Ah! What's that?"  
  
"Calm down oracle. That's just Imp."  
  
"We're after a demon that stole the Sikon jewel and is ruining everyone's names," Inuyasha explained as they walked off. Oracle had been closed in by the her two demon companions and they were getting a wee bit touchy feely. Inuyasha looked back at then and then to his brother.  
  
"You know, Shesshoumaru, I have this.."  
  
"Yes, Inuyasha?" Shesshoumaru prompted when Inuyasha stopped.  
  
"I have this strong urge to kiss you right now."  
  
The world stops and everyone looks at Imp, then Evil?  
  
Evil: What? I didn't so anything this time! It has the key board.  
  
"What did you do Imp?" Shesshoumaru demanded.  
  
It wasn't me! Well, little.the guy who restored Inuyasha ya know, he's a wee bit light in the loafers..get what I mean?"  
  
Inuyasha looked blankly at Imp. "So you're saying that because that fairy sprinkled me with dust to bring me back to life now I'm a flaming homosexual?"  
  
Yep! *giggle* We'll make this into a lemon yet! Yaoi!!! *claps.*  
  
"NO! NO! NO!" Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru screamed together.  
  
Oh yes! This is going to be the best lemon ever! Incest is the best, getting' sweet between the sheets, packing the fudge! Great!  
  
"I think I'm gonna be sick." Orcale moaned, almost falling as Kurama and Hiei caught her, pulling her slender body close to theirs. Oracle looked up at them with surprise. Are you happy, Oracle? Or just shocked?  
  
"What the hell did you do?" she asked, blue eyes wide as the two demons embraced her from wither side. I am granting your biggest fantasy with an added bonus. After all, I want a lemon, and you're not going to object to a threesome, eh?  
  
"Oh, hell yes!!" Oracle screamed as Hiei kissed her neck and Kurama began unbuttoning her blouse. "Imp, I love you; you're a sick little fuck, but I love you!" her rose petal lips released a moan as Kurama nuzzled the hollow of her neck and as Hiei tenderly lipped her shoulders. The little demon then unhooked her bra and Kurmam helped slip it off, hands sliding down over her voluptuous curves.  
  
"Oh, Gods above and below!" Nuriko shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. "Go behind a goddamned tree..Ah! Kurama, don't undo her pants right in front of Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru! Imp, do something!"  
  
Why? Maybe there will be a foursome with some hot yaoi action..and if you join in-  
  
"Go get bit!" Nuriko fumed as she turned the gaping dog demon brothers around to give the moaning Oracle some pivacy.  
  
"Hey, he is a half dog demon thank you," Shesshoumaru pointed out. Yes, and in a few minutes you two will be having hot monkey sex.  
  
"No!" Inuyasha ried, turning a shade of green and getting on his knees next to his brother. "Don't do this! Please." Dog boy trails off as he becomes a little too preoccupied with his brother's pants.  
  
"Ah! Sick freak!" Shesshoumaru jumped away from his gagging brother.  
  
"Daaaammmn yoooouuu biiiitcch!" He moaned. I am not a bitch. I'm not a butch either. I'm an It.  
  
Brahmani: *Jumps on Imp, taking the key board from it, hitting it over the head, stuffing it in a barrel and then sitting on top of the barrel.* ok Goddess dammit, I am going to try and undo this heinous mess Imp made. My gods, what the hell..*Brahmani spaces out at the sight of her sister Oracle in the arms of the two demons.the two very muscular demons that are oh-so- very well hung.*  
  
Ok, Nuriko, give Inuyasha The Kiss.  
  
"The Kiss?" Inuyasha and Shesshoumaru echoed. My, my they are slow. Yes, The Kiss.  
  
Nuriko walks with cat like grace up to Inuyasha, puts her arms around his neck and tangling her fingers in his silken hair. The hanyou is dumbfounded as his amber optics stare into catlike orbs. Slowly, painstakingly slowly, Nuri moves her lips to Inuyasha's and gives him a soft kiss, pulls away, and then pushes her mouth right over dog-boy's. Demonic eyes pop as Nuriko's tongue toys with his, pushing it further back and rubbing seductively as she flattens her body to his..I don't think they'll ever some up for air.And all the while Shesshie-chan pouts off to the side, not getting any action and trying in vain to keep his eyes away from the moaning and groaning mini orgy off to the side.  
  
Nuriko pulls back, her eyes flashing as she crosses her arms. "Well?" "...." Inuyasha can say nothing. Ok, let's move on. The demon, Inuyahsa, Shesshoumaru.?  
  
"Oh, that's right!" The brothers say in unison as they look into the cave. But the demon isn't there.  
  
"What do you mean it isn't there?!" Inuyasha explodes. I guess it ran off while everything else was going on. You just couldn't learn to leave your brother alone, could you?  
  
"Dammit!" Inuyasha glares at his brother. "It's all your fault." A loud moan startles Inuyasha, but when he looks again Shesshoumaru isn't there..A sound draws the fuming demons attention, and Inuyasha is faced with the absolute horror of the commercialist monstrosity that is fouling our happy little Feudal Era!  
  
Don't forget to come back and see what happens in the next chapter.Will Inuyasha survive unscathed? Will Oracle orgasm? Will her demon playmates orgasm? Did Nuiko's kiss work, or will this end up a yaoi after all? And who in the bloody hell will get the key board next? All this and more next time on the Voices Funny Fic!  
  
"You call this funny..?" 


	5. Shesshoumaru becomes afraid Very Afrai...

Chapter four: Shesshoumaru becomes afraid..very afraid...  
  
So here we are again with Inuyasha, everyone's favorite dog demon!  
  
"Hey, he's not everyone's favorite dog demon!" Shesshoumaru protested, crossing his arms. "I do think my fan following is larger than his." He said, looking smug but annoyed.  
  
Ah, well I was just saying that because.Oh, fuck it! Shut up, you ran away. Now, back to poor Inuyasha..  
  
Shesshoumaru nervously crept back to the bushes. Of course he had run away like a girl when he saw the u stealing dash demon, leaving his poor little brother all alone.  
  
"Oh, sue me." Shesshoumaru muttered.  
  
Maybe I will, dammit. I just saved you from a completely disgusting and erotic situation with your fucking half brother, and this is the thanks I get? You left Inuyasha and Nuriko to the fate of that horrible demon!  
  
"...." Shesshoumaru decided not to acknowledge this and called softly, "Inuyasha? Brother..where are you?"  
  
Suddenly, silver haired demon jumps out of the brush landed on Shesshoumaru and digging his claws into the pretty boy's chest.  
  
"God damn you pretty boy. You are such a fucking wimp! YOU LEFT ME HERE TO DIE!" Inu-Yasha screamed. "..Wait.Inu-Yasha? OH MY GOD! IT GOT ME!"  
  
Naw, really? It's about time he figured it out.  
  
"Look, I've had it up to here with you and your multiple personalities!" Inu-Yasha screamed at the narrator. Excuse me? "Are you fucking deaf? I am sick of it! All of it! And where the fuck is Nuriko?"  
  
"Inu-Yasha.." A tiny voice said, followed by the sound of muffled giggles. The demon brothers turned to see the druid miko hunched over, hands clasped to her mouth, sides shaking and tears running down her cheeks. "That's...just too..fucking..g-great..HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The girl completely lost is and burst out in laughter, falling over and kicking her legs.  
  
"....." The brothers look at her, then look at each other.  
  
Inu-yasha blinked. Shesshoumaru blinked. Nuriko blinked. Inu-yasha blinked. Shesshoumaru blin-  
  
"All fucking right! Kami-sama bless us all would you stop that?!" Shesshoumaru screamed. Humph. Go find the demon, now! Restore the names and end this fan fic before I continue with Imp's idea.  
  
Nuriko composed herself and stood, whipping the tears off her cheeks and suppressing her giggles. And off they trot-trot?- on the trail of the demon, Shesshoumaru purposefully keeping away from his brother.  
  
"I don't think it worked." Nuriko whispered. Don't worry. I think this is going to be a great chapter of "Inu-Yasha and Shesshoumaru: the forbidden love."  
  
"What?!" Shessoumaru screamed at the narrator in a very unnecessary way. "That's not the name of this story.  
  
Oh, yes it is. I decided to change it. I do think that the readers would like a nice yaoi story, filled with lots and lots of angst. Don't you think so, Inu-yasha *stifled laugh*?  
  
"..." Looking over at his brother, who looked like a demon straight from hell, Inu-yasha decides to plead the fifth on that one. Aah, poor little Inu-yasha. You must be fighting it so hard. The urge to jump his bones is just driving you mad, isn't it?  
  
"..." Still remaining silent, Inu-yasha's face turned a bright red and he looked away angrily.  
  
"You..are one sick puppy." Shesshoumaru said, moving farther away from his brother. "And I wasn't reffering about Inu-yasha you Imp wanna-be!"  
  
Well so what if I am? I control everything now! Whatever I say goes, bwahahaha!  
  
Both brothers sweatdrop while and look properly frightened, as they should be, while Nuriko hides a smile behind her hand.  
  
"I'm glad you like this.." Inu-yasha muttered at her.  
  
"What? I've been dealing with the exact same problem since we met up on this screwed up thing." Shesshoumaru spun around, looking hopeful.  
  
"What?" "Not YOU!" She shook her head. 'I meant Inu-yasha!" Nuriko by then was blushing a bright red and Shesshoumaru had turned around in a pout. Poor baby, destined to be second best in this case.  
  
"Shut. Up." He then looks at Brahmani. 'Now.can't we talk about this? I mean, Imp kind of took the story away.Can't we just find the demon and make everything alright? There is some plot established and changing the plot in the middle of the story...it's simply not what a-not what a good writer does." ..You're saying I'm a good writer?  
  
"Oh yes! YES! Of course! You are the greatest writer ever!" Sesshoumaru nodded enthusiastically and looked over to Inu-yasha. "Isn't that right Inu-yasha?" "Oh yes! Noone could EVER outshine your literary talent!" Inu-yasha nodded also, smiling. Oh....Well... *giggle* Well when you put it like that..... Let's go get the Dash Monster! "Phew..." Sesshoumaru wiped his brow in relief. But suddenly got a very disgusted look on his face and glared at Inu-yasha. "......Brother.....Please take your hand off my shoulder...." "What?!" Inu-yasha snapped as he drew his hand back. "It was only a brotherly gesture of affection!" "Right......" Sesshoumaru stepped away, determined to keep his distance from the horny demon. "Umm...would it be too much to ask that you make it where he's not so......horny?" Yes it would be asking too much. I like him like this.  
  
"................ok....Well then...Umm I'll just go this way.... and Inuyasha.." Sesshoumaru looked back at his brother. "What?" Inu-yasha asked semi-innocently as he gazed at his brother's rear end with the same adoration many fan girls do. "Just...stay behind me....REALLY far behind me...please.." Picking up the pace to put some space between them, Sesshoumaru set off to find the Dash monster so he could hopefully end this story. Inu-yasha, grumbling about his misfortune, followed behind the demon. Nuriko shook her head and followed them, muttering something about tasteless brown nosers.. Her, whatever floats their boat, eh sister?  
  
Suddenly, something happened.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! HOLY MOTHER OF ASS RAMMERS!!!!" It was a scream. "Shu-" It was Nuriko's scream. Both brothers turn and run to where Nuriko laid, sitting on the ground and looking stunned, to say the least. Shesshoumaru peered into her eyed, trying to get them to focus. "What's wrong?" Inu-yasha asked Shesshoumaru. "I don't know." his brother replied. "Inu-yasha....." Sesshoumaru glared up at him. "Get you hand OFF my ass Inuy-asha...." "Oh heheh...Umm" Taking his hand back, Inu-yasha sweated slightly, his face turning red once again. "Sorry bout that. I can't help it you know." "Feh, I shouldn't be surprised. A pathetic weakling like you would never have the power to resist a spell like that." With a smirk that was as about as condescending as they come, Sesshoumaru laughed. But it was all cut short when a black form pounced on him, crashing the older, demon into the trees. Shesshoumaru let out a not so manly scream as Inu-yashs fumed about what his brother had said. "Fucking..bastard. I'll show him weakling!" Darling, I'm sure you'd love to prove that to him, but first don't you think you should go make sure he's alright? Inu-yasha clasps his hands and goes starry eyed. "Brother might be in danger, or even dead! I must save him!" Yes, Inu-chan. Go play hero! He NEEDS you! "Damn straight!" Inu-yasha ran off into he trees after his brother, leaving Nuriko still dazed. When Inu-yasha found his brother, Shesshoumaru was passed out, Inu-yasha immediately got down on his hands and knees and began to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation, conveniently not noticing that his brother was breathing fine. He just wanted an excuse to kiss those soft, sultry lips.... Lips as fine as silk and as sumptuous as ambrosia.....the kind of lips that make girls swoon and men green with envy....**sighs dreamily** "Excuse me?" Inu-yasha said, snapping the narrator out of her trance. "I am trying to revive him here!" Oh...sorry. "Hmph." Inu-Yasha turned to go back to 'resuscitating' his brother, only to see him glaring up at him angrily. "Oh...heheh ^_^;;; Brother.....you're alive. I'm so relieved!" "I'm sure you are...." Getting up, the demon pushed Inu-Yasha off of him angrily. "You shitface! You didn't even help me when that damn monster attacked!" What the fuck? You were ticking me off! It's you own fault Shessho-Maru.oh dear gods." "S-S-Sess-Sess-Sessho-Maru?!?!?!" the older brother cried out in both disgust and fear. "I've got a fucking dash in my name!!!" "Join the club -_-" Inu-Yasha said with a sigh. Whether the sigh was because of his own dash or the fact that he had to stop kissing his brother...well we'll never know. Whatever, we all know it's because he had to stop playing tonsil hockey. "You slipped me the tongue?!?!" Sessho-Maru shrieked angrily. "How could you take advantage of me like that?!?!?!" "Hmph...I was helping you out...you're so fucking ungrateful." Turning his back, Inu-Yasha looked upset. "At least I only got a dash in my name...unlike SOME people." Looking back at Sessho-Maru, he smirked in an almost malicious way. "No.."It dawned on the beauty. "MY 'U'! IT STOLE MY 'U'!" Shessho-Maru busted out in tears. Inu-Yasha immediately moved to comfort his sobbing brother. "There, there. It'll all be ok.I can make it ok." Inu-yasha slowly moved his lips towards his brother's. YAOI! "Hell NO!" Shessho-Maru said, keeping his brother at bay. "We're never going to find that fucking monster and get our names fixed, since he won't leave me alone!" "But Shesshie-chan," Inu-yasha whimpered. "I can't stand it anymore! It's just so hard! All I want to do is take you in my arms and kiss you and feel your body." Inu-yasha's love ranting was cut short as Shessho-Maru hit him over the head with a heavy stick. "Stay AWAY from me!" Inu-yasha screamed hysterically, his tolerance for this almost gone. And that might be good, for when it is gone maybe he will relent to a little yaoi. "Why do you want that now?" Shessho-Maru sobbed, eyes filling with such sweet tears and making him look adorable. Because I'm bored and it's 4 am. I want to have some fun before midterm hell.  
  
When Inu-yasha awoke, he was all alone. A tightness formed in his chest at the thought that his brother might be in danger and that he should go look for him. Duh, stupid. He left, and you must look for the demon. "B-but why?" Inu-yasha whined. "I want him! I need to see his sweet face and feel his body close to mine." YAOI! "Dammit! This is going to get so sick! You could end all this with a word ya know." Inu-yasha said as he crossed his arms. True, but I don't want to. "Feh, fucking hentai-" Inu-yasha didn't move fast enough as another fireball consumed him, this time not killing him. "Where the HELL did that-" Another one flew over him, taking out a tree. "Where do they keep coming from?" Inu-yasha cried. CHARIZARD, RETURN! The creature roared in defiance as it was drawn back into it's Pokeball with a flash of light. Luckily, the narrator had saved him from serious injury. "Biiiiitttccchhhh" Inu-yasha lay on the ground twitching as the smoke rose from his body. Sorry bout that ^^;; Charizard gets a little uncontrollable at times. But let's forget that! Time to get the dash monster!!! Insanity: *snatches the key board.* I've been waiting for this. *cracks knuckles* My turn to make their lives hell! Ok, Inu-yasha, get ready for Insanity! "Oooooooh FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!" And on to the next chapter, however far off that may be! Maybe I will put in some yaoi, after all..^_~ "YAY!" Inu-yasha cried. "I-I mean." no use trying to hide it. You just have to follow your instincts and make hot monkey love to Shessho-Maru when you se him..Goddess, that looks awful.. 


	6. Still Searching and Finding Sakura?

Chapter Five: Still Searching and Finding..Sakura??? Inu-Yasha walked doggedly through the snow. His ears were pinned back and his demonic eyes were two hard amber gems, brimming with annoyance at his present situation. "Ya know, for Insanity, you are the sanest narrator I've had so far," Inu- yasha commented idly. Aw, man! I was hoping you wouldn't catch on to that. You're not the sharpest tool in the shed Inu-chan, and so I didn't think you'd come to grips with my anticlimactic style of narration until later and you were begging for it to go back to normal. But hell, since you called me out on it, much to my infinite surprise, I'll just have to make due and cut the duration of my 'low-tide' style brief. "..." Inu-yasha decided not to comment, either that or as Brahmani stated earlier, and as I just did, Inu-yasha is lacking in his mental facilities and might not have caught all of what I was saying. "...Huh?" Inu-yasha asked, glaring. Are you deaf or just plain stupid? What I was saying, and what you're too slow to catch up on, is that I wasn't expecting you to pay that much attention since your as dull as a block of wood and that the reader would be anticipating the parts where things get really insane! AND THEN I BASICALLY SAID AFTER THAT THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING DUMB ASS SO PLEASE CAN WE MOVE ON AND GET OVER THIS DAMNABLE PERIOD OF UTTERLY BAFFELING STUPIDITY?!?!?!?!? Inu-yasha looked at Insanity with murder in his eyes. "Who the hell do you think you are?" He demanded, lunging at the narrator. Which needless to say, was very stupid. A tree-yes, a whole tree- fell down on top of Inu-yasha, once again knocking him unconscious and leaving him to sweet dreams of..well, I'm not going to tell you what of since that would be an invasion of privacy and I don't want to encourage your hentai nature anymore than it already has been. Ok, maybe I will a little, but only a little! Inu-yasha awoke with a pain in his back (well, there was a tree on top of him) and a weird twitching feeling down in his pants. Twisting the hanyou saw that there was a substance sticking his hakama to the ground. Thinking abut the dream he had just awakened from, Inu-yasha blushed crimson and looked at the ground, flustered. "Are you having fun?" He demanded. Oh, not nearly enough. Just wait till I get warmed up to this yaoi stuff.. "NO! Please let it stop! I thought that once they were gone and I had a male writer, it would all stop! Please, don't do this to me! I'm begging you.it's too much, and it's disgusting! I HATE IT!!!" Inu-yasha looked on the verge of tears. Morality: tsk, tsk. Now it's not good to lie, especially since you liked that dream you just had so very much Inu-yasha.. "Damn you." the half demon muttered to no one in particular as he went on his way to find the horrendous commercialization demon, once again wandering aimlessly since he was still suffering form the hay fever. "It's allergies, stupid shit," Inu-yasha growled triumphantly. Go to hell, dog boy while we go check up on your delectable, sumptuous brother. And we leave Inu-Yasha wandering the paths and drooling.incest is the best!  
  
Meanwhile, Shessho-Maru was running through the woods as fast as he heightened demon legs could carry him, eyes wide and terrified but not really seeing or paying attention to anything since he kept looking behind himself so many times. Suddenly, the youkai slammed into a warm, hard force that knocked him back just as he knocked it back. Screaming like a girl, Shessho-Maru rolled onto his knees and prepared to run away when a strong arm grabbed him and wrenched him around. Shessho-Maru once again let loose a womany shriek. He looked up, terrified at what he might see, but was even more afraid at what he did see: the black hair, gray eyes and bejeweled brow of Sakura, Nuiko's hand maiden. The little druid had never been nice to him, and he was slightly unnerved by her.. "Naw, ya think?" Shessho-Mru muttered snidely. "Shessho-maru, where were you going running like a girl and what..oh my fucking Goddess, what the hell happened to your name?" Her gray eyes widened as Shessho-Maru climbed to his feet. "My 'u' was stolen by a treacherous demon and a dash was added in the middle of it," he explained, feeling foolish. "Has any one ever told you you scream like a woman?" Sakura asked, not really interested. "You don't give a damn about what's happening, do you?" Shessho-Maru demanded. Sakura gave him a stony glare. "It's Americanization and fucked commercialism-happens all the time. So, are you running to or from the demon like a little girl?" "Will you drop the female references please?" Shessho-Maru said with controlled patience. "Maybe. Now, tell me what the hell you're doing and where Nuriko is before I go medieval on your ass." Shessho-Maru sighed. "I'm running away from my flaming homosexual brother, and Nuriko is.." Shessho stopped dead, eyes going wide. "What?" Sakura demanded. Shessho-Maru still kept his lips sealed. "Hey, you!" Me? "Yeah, you. What happened? Where is Nuriko?" Shessho-Maru-san and Inu-Yasha-chan left Nuriko dazed and defensless after a demon attack a while back down the path that Shessho-Maru was just on. They fled in terror from Brahmani's wrath, but I am sure it will be nothing compared to- Sakura raised her hand. Shessho_Maru cringed. THWACK!!!!! "ITAI!!!!!" Shessho-Maru was on the ground, a lump on his head from an elbow and a red hand print on his face. Sakura stood over him, eyes smoldering. "How could you do that to a woman you claim to love?" She demanded, kicking him in the ribs. "Itai! That hurt, you bitch!" Shessho-Maru wailed. "And since she doesn't care about me, why should I care about her?" "Oh, you - baka-!" Sakura growled, fists clenched at her sides. Shessho- Maru prepared his body for absolute pain. "- Kisama dame bishounen- !" she continued through clenched teeth, reaching down and yanking on Shessho- Maru's tail, pulling him up off the ground and flinging him brutally as far as her strength would allow. Right into a black berry briar.  
  
"Chikuso!" Shessho-Maru cried as he landed, thorns ripping into his expensive clothes and creamy dreamy flesh.  
  
Evil: *Grabs the key board for a few quick seconds and types a few sentances.* Insanity: *takes it back and types a couple things.*  
  
A tree branch falls onto Shessho-Maru, crushing him under its bovine weight.  
  
Evil: Damn it missed her.  
  
Ahem, Sakura pulls Shessho-Maru out from under the branch, laughing.  
  
"Well, now you can come with me and see if Nuriko's alright." "NOOOOO!" The demon went on his knees, clutching Sakura's armored skirt. "You can't make me go back there! He might be there, and I can't take it anymore..yaoi." Shessho-maru buried his nose in cloth until he realized again where his face was.  
  
THWACK!!!  
  
"ITAI!" "Hentai!" "I didn't mean it, I was trying to-" "You were trying to feel me up you sick bitch. Fine, I'll go and get Nuriko, while you go off somewhere and practice trying to run like a man!" Sakura roughly kicked Shessho-Maru away as she set off to find her mistress.  
  
Shessho-Maru, not having the best of days, Got up and took stock of the damage to his appearance. He looked, in all dear honesty, like hammered dog shit.  
  
"You little FUCK!" Shessho-Maru screamed in unbridled rage, lunging at the narrator. He and his brother..thick headed macho dip shits.  
  
Out of the bushes burst a pack of rabid fan girls, led by the imitation Kagome. They squeal in delight and tackle Shessho-Maru to the ground, rubbing him and feeling him, pulling open his kimono and his inner haori and then his hakama.all to the delightful music of screams and wails of, "NO! PLEASE NO!"  
  
  
  
- These words, as they appear in this I chapter are: baka means stupid Kisama dame bishounen essentially means, Bad pretty boy! Sakura is turning Shasshoumaru-sama's good and slightly feminine looks against him, which he takes slight offense to. But c'mon, he is a pretty boy. A/N: As I have said before, Inuyasha and the characters of this series do not belong to me. If Inuyasha belonged to me, I wouldn't be a virgin. But the made up characters are mine all fucking mine, and I lay copy right to this story. Take it without giving me credit, and I killa you! For those that are wondering when it's all going to end: I don't know, really. You see, this was all random shit that I made up at the spur of the moment since the voices wouldn't leave me alone, and I don't know where the hell it's going. But it will be over soon, and we can all look forward to another exciting voice story..I should just keep them locked in boxes in my closet, but then again they live inside my head.... 


	7. Oink!

Chapter Six: Oink..  
  
"I wish I could smell," Inu-yasha was complaining to the trees. "Then I could start sniffing, find that stupid demon and get this whole fucking story over with." Apparently, Inu-yasha was not impressed by the story. I wonder if I should put the fear of the pen in him.  
  
"No need for that, heh heh heh ^_^::" Inu-yasha said with a hasty smile and wave as he nervously sweatdropped.  
  
Just making sure.  
  
"AAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!"  
  
It was yet another scream to follow it's predecessors, which generally always heralded the arrival of trouble and the demon, which is just a statement of pure common sen-  
  
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!! Damn it, you and those other chicks always having to annoy the hell out of me.." Inu-yasha mumbled.  
  
Tell me, Inu-yasha, was it my stating the obvious for our not so bright readers and cast members-including yourself- benefit, or was it because you couldn't understand a word I was saying?  
  
"Leave me alone!" Inu-yasha roared.  
  
Touchy. Here, just imagine yourself as the hero, once again, having saved everyone from the horrible demon; imagine the look on Shessho's face when you restore his 'u', and you all can celebrate with yaoi, or just a huge orgy. Even Nuriko would join in, and Kagome..  
  
Inu-yasha paused and slumped up against a tree, images filling his mind and a pleasant smile forming on his lips. He was imagining the look on pretty Shessho-Maru's face when he was restored to Shesshoumaru and they shared all the pent up affection that they had been hungering to let loose.. Well, that Inu-yasha had been hungering to let lose at least. It must be admitted that the affection in this department was a tad bit one sided, but hell that wouldn't stop our favorite half dog demon, now would it?  
  
Inuyasha's skin was flaring up with the graphic way he pictured all of these things, and he was starting to sweat and flush, and he's not denying any of these things so he MUST be pretty preoccupied..as long as his hands stay away from his..ok, plan B!  
  
Suddenly, a chill wind swept through the trees, clouds gathered, and it began to snow like it had never snowed before.  
  
Inu-yasha was snapped out of his dreaming by the cold air and frozen water and he shot a glare at Insanity.  
  
"It's the middle of fucking summer, retard. It can't snow."  
  
Well, since this fic is anything but serious, I say it can snow in the middle of summer. Besides, the snow will help the plot later on.  
  
"What plot? Oh, you mean the thing hanging by a shred that is barely holding this story together? That plot?" Why yes, Inu-yasha. How perceptive of you. Move along-you don't want to freeze to death, and you must make it to the river before the snow starts to melt.  
  
"Feh," Inu-yasha commented as he kept moving. The good news about the sudden blizzard was that his allergies seemed to miraculously clear up, but the snow was covering the beastie's scent and until it did melt the dog-boy would just have to follow the narrator's lead.  
  
The snow storm lasted for all of a grueling five minutes, leaving Inu-yasha to struggle through slushifying 5 foot snow drifts.  
  
"Daaaaaammmn yoooouuu biiiiiitttcccch!!" he moaned several times. I chose not to dignify him with any kind of response.  
  
When Inu-yasha reached the river, it was fast and flowing and the place around it reeked of the demon he had been hunting. Inu-yasha prepared for battle, claws ready and teeth bared. A vein in Inu-Yasha's head popped as he watched a form emerge from the river. He meant to give the damn thing a proper beating once it came out of the water, but was more than a little surprised to see a little black pig crawl out of the water. A very wet.....very angry little black pig. Blinking at the bedraggled swine, Inu-Yasha suddenly burst out laughing, rolling on the ground and pointing at it. "A....A PIG! Bwahahahahaha!!!!" Suddenly the little porker leapt at Inu-Yasha, his teeth bared and began to beat up the demon viciously. "OUCH!! Stoppit! Stoppit!!" Inu-Yasha swated at the black blur, but was unable to lay a hand on the speedy piggy who was doing a very good job beating the shit out of him. It's strength and size were not proportioned to each other, and scared the hell out of the already scared half demon. "Help me! DAMMIT HELP ME YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD IF THIS DAMN THING KILLS ME!!!!" Hhhhmmmm, true my dog eared friend. Now Inu-yasha......since you've been properly defeated by this cute little itty bitty piggy, perhaps you should go find the rest of the cast, the ones you have left behind since the beginning. Your beloved brother has already gone after them. You should follow. "Brother Dearest?" Inu-Yasha blinked. "He could be in danger! Oh I must go after him and protect him!" His eyes grew all big and dewy and he clasped his hands together. "And then maybe....maybe he'll be so grateful that he'll....he'll...." Inu-Yasha blushed bright red and closed his eyes, giggling like a school girl. The little pig-demon sweat dropped and looked back and forth between the two. Here now, be a good little piggy-wiggy and ride on Inu-Yasha's head so you can go meet all the other nice people. You might remember seeing some of them from earlier. The little black pig squealed with delight and jumped atop the bruised Inu- yasha's head. Go on now, Inu-chan, and find your friends ^_^! "YES!" Inu-Yasha cried out enthusiastically. "I will go after my brother and I shall restore him!" And you'll have mad gay monkey sex! YES! Incest is BEST!!!! WHOHOO!!! This'll be a lemon yet!!! "YES! IT WILL!!! LET'S GO!" Inu-Yasha eagerly began his search. Soon....soooon..... A little dribble of drool dripped down his lip as he thought of what was to come.... But his joy was slightly dimmed by the pig on his head. "I have to walk around with this little shit on my head?" Inu-yasha complained. "Why can't he walk?" Cause I don't want him to. Now get moving before things get really insane! Look at him Inu-yasha! It's soooo cute! "You're gay, aren't you?" None of ya business. Now isn't it cute Inu-Yasha? "..............-_- Sure." Knowing better than to argue, Inu-Yasha continued on. But now he was walking slowly, a very sour look on his face and an equally sour looking piggy on his head. "This is so fucking humiliating...." Inu-Yasha grumbled under his breath as he continued onward. He just hoped he didn't see anyone he knew.......  
  
Shessho-Maru had just gotten out of the pack of rabid fans girls when the snow hit. He had just had most of his clothing removed so he was very cold, even though he was a demon. With a volley of colorful and unintelligent ranting, Shessho-maru face faulted into the snow. "Bitch! You hate me don't you?" he growled at the narrator. No, darling. I'm just insane. 'Never would have guessed." Shessho-Maru stopped as he realized that he could not get out of the snow and the fan girls were coming his was, screaming.. Our favorite full dog demon felt more pain as the girls ran over his head; they were running away from something, not after him. "Make me feel special." Shessho-Maru muttered. "Hey, what's this?" A gruff voice said as a male demon pulled him up out of the snow. "Uhg, dog demon." he winced. C'mon, we all know who that is! "Kouga?" Shessho-Maru asked in disbelief. "Wrong, dog turd!" Kouga said with a smug look, forgetting that it is Inu- yasha he calls dog turd, not Shessho-Maru. "Hey, my name is Koga now!" he said defensively. "What?" Shessho-Maru gasped. "It got you too?!" Wow, he does have a firm grasp of the obvious. "...." Kouga-ahem, Koga- looked blankly at the narrator then back at Shessho-sama. "Yeah, it did." He replied to Shessho-Maru. Not sounding the least bit upset. "You talk about it as if it's a good thing." Shessho-Maru pointed out. Didn't I just say something about that..? "It isn't?" Koga asked stupidly. "Hey, I don't have to take this shit from you!" Shessho-Maru would have face faulted again hadn't Koga been holding him up. "Don't.screw around.with the narrators..okay?" He asked through clenched teeth. "Whatever," Koga shrugged as he set Shessho-Maru down. "I was sent here to find you, so you had better come with me now or I won't be responsible for what happens to you."  
  
Gods, Shessho-Maru thought as he followed the wolf demon. I would almost rather have stayed with Inu-yasha than follow this loser. Hmmmm..Is Shessho-Maru finally relenting? Will everything be hunky dory? Will Inu-yasha score? All this and more in the next chapter, however far off that may be! 


End file.
